I’ve reached the point in my life where I just can’t sit through dramas, thrillers or a movie with a message. I have a Movies I Will Always Be Glad I Saw list. It contains titles like The Great Escape. Amazing film because for one thing, the cast is cool. It also puts Chicken Run into context and raises it from just a crazy claymation piece to something hilarious—watching a chicken do her best Cooler King impression, well, that’s worth quite a bit. However, that last scene, in the field? Did me in and broke my heart. I’ll never watch Amadeus again—brilliant but also heartbreaking, which is the same reason I’ll never again sit through Ran, Thelma and Louise, The Seven Samurai or Sophie’s Choice.
Naturally, there are movies I will always watch, no matter when they are on or where I am—Star Wars, because c’mon, Han Solo in the cantina? You better believe it. The Incredible Mr. Limpet, The Great Race, When Harry Met Sally, Wilby Wonderful, Rush Hour, Strictly Ballroom—all on the Pleasant Ways to Fritter Away Time list.
Now, for the Other List. I’m going to share this without shame or fear of condemnation because I believe everyone has a list like this. It’s the Stupid Movies I’m Almost Ashamed to Admit I Watch list. On a really tough day at the office I need some Dodge Ball. It tickles me so much but there is no chance ever that someone will put it on a list of great movies. Sometimes I also need Talladega Nights—for heaven’s sake, Will Farrell chews the scenery worse than a bored Labrador Retriever but I can’t stop laughing. There’s also The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai: Across the Eighth Dimension, Miss Congeniality, Shanghai Noon, Wedding Crashers, Lethal Weapon (because sometimes I like watching stuff blow up) and The Last Boy Scout (for the same reason, plus even after all these years I still have a soft spot for Bruce Willis).
‘Fess up here, folks. Stand up straight and tall and join me with your own list—don’t be ashamed to admit you’ll watch Bring it On anytime you find it while flipping channels—I’m not.