DCPLive is a blog by library staff at the DeKalb County Public Library!
Apr 23 2018

A Room Of One’s Own

by Camille B

Cosy Room 2I remember seeing a TV commercial some years ago where a mother was desperately trying  to find a little peace and quiet from her little ones. Seeking refuge in the restroom, she sat there for a few minutes with the door closed trying to catch her breath. But it wasn’t long before she looked down to see tiny fingers wiggling beneath the restroom door, trying to get her attention once again.

We can all relate to reaching that level of exhaustion where we need to just take some time away to breathe. And even though we may not be dealing with small kids on a daily basis, we know when our mental batteries are drained and need recharging.

When we’ve had a horrible day, sat in traffic for hours, got flipped off by an impatient driver, picked up the kids late from school- again, forgot to take the chicken out of the freezer for dinner, the list goes on and on.

But where do you go to find that alone time? Where is that sacred place that’s yours and yours alone? Where you can hang a Do Not Disturb sign on the door and have it respected? Where is your place you can kick off your shoes and unwind, preferably with a glass of wine, or a cup of coffee or tea?

Some of you are probably laughing to yourself, wondering “Is she serious? I can barely take a restroom break for a full five minutes without being interrupted, much less find time for, what is it? Rest and Relaxation?”

And it’s understandable that we feel this way, with the whirlwind of life around us. Slowing down or stopping for anything “me related”  seems like such a luxury, and many women claim to feel that twinge of guilt when they step back for a moment to take care of anything that doesn’t involve their family or loved ones–like that mother probably must have when she saw the tiny fingers peeping under the bathroom door.

The truth is though, we’re no good to ourselves or anyone else when we get like this. Stress left unchecked can lead to other health problems in the long run such as high blood pressure, heart disease, and diabetes. According to an article in the Huffington Post “Having your own space—where you can think, dream, ponder, plan and create, or just be—is essential in our fast-paced, over-connected world.”

Still the question remains, where is that place that we go when we need to retreat and refuel? Daddy has his Man Cave, the kids have their game rooms or tree houses. And let’s face it, they would be contented just about anywhere as long as they have their smart phones with them.

What is the woman’s version of a Man Cave? And if one more person says it’s the kitchen, I’ll scream. Because I’m betting you that as much as Martha Stewart and Rachel Ray love their kitchens, it is not the place they go when they need to relax and unwind.

She Sheds are now becoming quite popular with women everywhere, and before I began writing this post I had actually never heard of them. They are apparently the woman’s version of a Man Cave and women are becoming very creative with building their own. So if you have the space and resources, this might be the way to create your getaway. Check out She sheds: a room of your own by Erika Kotite at your DCPL branch for interesting ideas for this project.

But having your own space doesn’t have to be as elaborate as a She Shed, nor does it have to be an entire room, although that would be ideal. It could be just a nook or cranny, an unused storage room or closet, whatever space you have available in the home. Not all of us have the luxury of a backyard shed or greenhouse that we can turn into that idyllic place, but we all have a place in the house where we can set up our own sanctuary.

In his book A Room of Her Own: women’s personal spaces, Chris Madden shows you how you can use whatever space you have to create that level of comfort you want. A review on Amazon describes the book: Full-color photography and a charming text capture the special places that women have created as retreats from busy daily routines and offer creative and inspirational decorating ideas to help transform one’s dream room into reality. 

Maybe you’ve had it at the back of your mind for a long time to create that reading room, or crafting room. A place where you can take a mental holiday, exercise, light a scented candle and pray or meditate, do yoga, take a nap, or unplug. But somehow you haven’t gotten around to it as yet. Here’s hoping that the seed of an idea has been replanted once again and that you’ll be inspired to start wherever you are, using whatever you have. Because we all deserve to have a room of our own.

 

Check out these titles at DCPL:

 

Book

 

 

A room of her own: women’s personal spaces– Chris Casson Madden

 

Book 2

 

 

 

Small Spaces /the editors of House Beautiful magazine

 

Book

 

 

 

500 ideas for small spaces: Kimberly Seldon

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Veronica W. April 23, 2018 at 9:38 PM

Absolutely lovely post. I have a couple of spots in the house where I am fortunate enough to be able to escape to but sometimes I have “runaway days” during which I spend the day doing me things; lunch, shopping, a movie, shopping. :-). The important thing is what gives you peace.

Kim Hall April 24, 2018 at 12:49 PM

Camille you do such wonderful blogs. Thanks for all you do. I’m still trying to find my comfort place to relax and read and just get me some “me time.” Have a wonderful day and keep up the good work. Kim

Kim Hall April 24, 2018 at 2:58 PM

Camille you do such wonderful blogs. Thanks for all you do. I’m still trying to find my comfort place to relax and read and just get get me some “me time”.Have a wonderful day and keep up the good work.

Effie C. April 26, 2018 at 9:12 PM

Wonderful post Camille. You have definitely given me inspiration and hope. I think my laundry room (once the laundry is done and the baseball equipment is removed) could be the perfect spot for a she shed. Thanks for the great book suggestions too!

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